How to plan a funeral: a step-by-step guide

Planning a funeral is one of the most demanding things a grieving family will ever be asked to do. Most of the major decisions — burial or cremation, type of service, funeral home, casket or urn — need to be made within 24 to 72 hours of a death, often before the grief has fully registered.

This guide walks through the process in order: what happens immediately after a death, how to work with a funeral home, what the major decisions involve, and what to expect in terms of cost and timing.

The first 24 hours: immediate steps

Obtaining a legal pronouncement of death

Before a funeral home can transport a body, the death must be legally pronounced. Who does this depends on where and how the person died:

• At home under hospice care: The hospice nurse pronounces death and notifies the appropriate parties.
• At home without hospice: Call the person's physician or, in some jurisdictions, 911. Do not call 911 if the death was expected and you are not in an unsafe situation — in some states, an unexpected at-home death will trigger a police response.
• At a hospital or nursing facility: Staff handle the pronouncement and typically assist with next steps.
• Under unexpected or unclear circumstances: The medical examiner or coroner may be involved and must release the body before a funeral home can take custody.

Contacting a funeral home

The funeral home is usually the first call families make after a death is pronounced. The funeral home will arrange transportation of the body to their facility and can help guide the initial decisions.

You are not required to use the funeral home that transports the body. However, switching providers after transport has begun may involve additional fees. If you have a strong preference for a specific funeral home, contact them first.

Identifying pre-existing arrangements

Before any decisions are finalized, check whether the deceased had a pre-arranged or pre-paid funeral plan. These plans specify the funeral home, the services selected, and the pricing — and they may have already been paid for. Check with family members, look through financial documents, and search for insurance policies marked as "funeral" or "final expense." Pre-arrangements are more common than families expect.

Choosing between burial and cremation

This decision shapes most of what follows and is typically the first major choice a funeral home will ask about.

Burial

Traditional burial involves the body being interred in a cemetery. Key considerations:

• A casket is required
• A burial plot must be purchased or rights already held
• Body preparation (embalming or refrigeration) is needed if there is a delay before burial
• Cemetery fees are separate from funeral home fees and can be significant
• Total costs typically range from $7,000 to $12,000 or more, depending on the services, casket, and cemetery

Cremation

Cremation reduces the body to cremated remains through high heat. Key considerations:

• Significantly lower cost — direct cremation (no service at the funeral home) typically ranges from $700 to $2,500
• A service can still be held before or after cremation
• An urn or other container is needed for the remains
• Families have more flexibility about timing and location for a memorial service

See the cremation vs. burial guide for a more detailed comparison of costs and considerations.

Green burial

Natural or green burial avoids embalming and uses biodegradable materials. The body is returned to the earth without a vault or liner. Green burial is available at dedicated natural burial grounds and some conventional cemeteries. Costs are often lower than traditional burial.

Working with a funeral home: your legal rights

The FTC Funeral Rule

The Federal Trade Commission's Funeral Rule (16 CFR Part 453) gives consumers specific legal rights when working with funeral homes:

• You have the right to receive an itemized General Price List (GPL) — any funeral home must provide one to anyone who asks, in person or by phone
• You can purchase only the items you want; no package is mandatory except for specific non-declinable items (like the basic services fee)
• If you provide a casket or urn purchased elsewhere, the funeral home cannot charge a handling fee unless they disclosed it on the GPL
• You must receive a written itemized statement before any services are rendered

Ask for the GPL before committing to anything. If a funeral home declines to provide itemized pricing, treat that as a serious warning sign.

What the basic services fee covers

Every funeral home charges a non-optional basic services fee that covers staff availability, facility overhead, filing the death certificate, and coordinating with third parties (cemetery, crematory, medical examiner). This fee cannot be waived, but everything else typically can be adjusted. Understanding what is included in the basic services fee is the key to comparing providers accurately.

For a more detailed look at how to compare providers, the guide to choosing a funeral home covers the 10 questions worth asking.

Selecting body preparation and viewing options

Embalming

Embalming is a preservation process that temporarily slows decomposition and restores a natural appearance. In most U.S. states, embalming is not legally required unless the body is being transported across state lines or there is a significant delay. It is frequently presented as standard practice — ask directly whether it is required in your situation.

If you are planning a public viewing within 24 to 48 hours of death, most funeral homes will suggest embalming. If there is no viewing or the timeline is short, refrigeration is typically sufficient.

Direct disposition vs. viewing and visitation

• Direct cremation or direct burial eliminates the embalming, viewing, and chapel fees. The body is transported, cremated or buried, and the family holds any service independently.
• Viewing or visitation allows family and friends to see the deceased before the service. This requires the body to be prepared, often embalmed, and can take place at the funeral home, a place of worship, or another location.
• Graveside service only — a short ceremony at the cemetery, no funeral home chapel involved.

Planning the service

Types of services

There is no single required format for a funeral. Families choose a service based on the wishes of the deceased, religious or cultural tradition, and what will feel meaningful to those attending.

Traditional funeral service: Typically held at a funeral home chapel or place of worship, with a visitation period followed by a formal service with readings, eulogies, and music. The body is usually present.

Memorial service: Held without the body present — often after cremation, sometimes weeks after the death. More flexible in format, location, and timing. Can include photo displays, video tributes, and sharing of memories.

Celebration of life: An informal gathering centered on honoring the person's life rather than marking the death. Often held at a meaningful location — a home, park, or venue associated with the person's interests.

Religious or faith-based service: Specific traditions vary widely. Catholic, Jewish, Muslim, Hindu, Buddhist, and other traditions each have specific customs around timing, preparation of the body, burial vs. cremation, and service format. Let the funeral home know early if religious requirements apply.

Graveside service: A brief ceremony at the burial site. Common when the family prefers a smaller, more intimate gathering.

Writing the obituary

The obituary serves two purposes: notifying the community of the death and providing a lasting written record of the person's life. Most funeral homes help draft obituaries and coordinate publication with newspapers.

A meaningful obituary typically includes:

• Full name, age, and date and place of death
• Surviving family members
• Brief biography: hometown, education, career, major life milestones
• Personal qualities, passions, and what the person meant to those who knew them
• Service details: date, time, location, and whether attendance is open
• Preferred charitable donation in lieu of flowers, if applicable

If you are writing the obituary yourself, the obituary writing guide offers a step-by-step framework.

Music, flowers, and readings

Most funeral homes and houses of worship coordinate music. Share specific song requests early, as live music requires advance scheduling. For recorded music, provide files or streaming instructions.

Flowers can be ordered through the funeral home or independently — independent florists are often significantly less expensive. If the family prefers donations to a charity, include that information in the obituary and service announcement.

Readings — scripture, poetry, personal letters — should be assigned to specific individuals in advance, with the funeral director coordinating the order of service.

Death certificates: how many to order

Why you need multiple copies

Death certificates are required to close bank accounts, transfer property, claim life insurance, and complete most estate administration tasks. Certified copies (not photocopies) are required in most cases.

How many to order

A general rule of thumb is one certified copy per financial institution, plus a few additional. For most families, 8 to 12 certified copies is a reasonable starting point. Ordering more at the time of death is significantly less expensive than ordering additional copies later.

Your funeral home files the death certificate with the state vital records office and orders copies on your behalf. Confirm the per-copy cost when reviewing the GPL.

Understanding funeral costs

What drives the total cost

The average cost of a funeral in the United States typically ranges from $7,000 to $12,000 for a traditional burial service and from $2,000 to $5,000 for a cremation service. The main cost drivers are:

• Basic services fee — non-optional overhead charge
• Transportation — removal from place of death and transfer to cemetery or crematory
• Body preparation — embalming, refrigeration, dressing, and cosmetology
• Casket or urn — the single largest variable cost
• Ceremony space — chapel rental, graveside setup
• Cemetery fees — plot, opening and closing, vault or liner (often required by the cemetery, not the funeral home)
• Death certificate copies
• Obituary publication fees

Avoiding surprise charges

Ask for a written breakdown before signing anything. Under the FTC Funeral Rule, you must receive a written statement of all charges before services are performed. If you are considering a casket purchased from an outside retailer (often significantly less expensive), confirm in writing that the funeral home will not charge a handling fee.

Day-of logistics

Coordination and timing

The funeral director serves as the coordinator on the day of the service. Arrive early to review the order of service and address any last-minute details. Confirm with the funeral director:

• The precise schedule and order of events
• Who is delivering the eulogy or reading
• Where family and pallbearers should gather
• Parking and processional arrangements if a graveside committal follows
• Who receives the flowers and memorabilia after the service

What to bring

Families typically bring: framed photos for display, a memory book or guest registry, any personal items to be placed in the casket (if applicable), and clothing for the deceased if not already provided.

After the service

The period immediately following the service often involves a reception or gathering. Many families host this at a home or rented venue. The funeral home can often suggest caterers or coordinate reception logistics.

In the days that follow, attention turns to estate administration — notifying government agencies, closing accounts, and beginning the probate process if applicable.

Frequently asked questions

How long does it take to plan a funeral?

Most funerals take place within 3 to 7 days of death, though this varies by religion, family circumstances, and whether out-of-town family need time to travel. Direct cremation without a service can happen faster. Jewish tradition typically requires burial within 24 hours (with exceptions for Shabbat and holidays). There is no legal minimum waiting period in most states.

Can I plan a funeral without a funeral home?

In most states, a licensed funeral director must file the death certificate and oversee disposition of the body. Some states allow families to transport and bury the body themselves under a "home funeral" model, but this requires careful research of state law. Most families work with a funeral home for at least the legal filing and transport, even if they handle the service independently.

What if we cannot afford a traditional funeral?

Direct cremation is the lowest-cost option for most families, typically ranging from $700 to $2,500. Some states offer indigent burial programs for families who cannot afford any disposition costs. Veterans may be eligible for burial in a national cemetery at no charge. Ask the funeral home directly about financial hardship options — many have programs that are not publicly advertised.

What is a graveside-only service and when is it appropriate?

A graveside service is a brief ceremony held at the burial site, without a prior service at a funeral home chapel or place of worship. It is appropriate when a family prefers a smaller, more intimate gathering, when a traditional service is not the family's style, or when budget is a consideration. Graveside-only services are less expensive because they do not involve a chapel rental fee.

Do I have to buy a casket from the funeral home?

No. Under the FTC Funeral Rule, funeral homes must accept a casket purchased from any retailer and cannot charge a handling fee for receiving it (unless the fee was disclosed on the GPL). Caskets purchased from third-party retailers — including online retailers — are often significantly less expensive than those sold directly by funeral homes.

What Passings Can Help With

Funeral planning is one of many decisions that arrive at once after a death. Passings offers a guided planning checklist that helps families work through funeral arrangements, estate administration, and the practical steps that follow — organized by timing so nothing falls through the cracks. The funeral planning checklist is a good starting point if you want a single organized reference. The secure document vault lets you store important papers — pre-arrangements, insurance policies, advance directives — so they are accessible when your family needs them most.

This article provides general information and is not legal, financial, or medical advice. Funeral regulations and consumer protections vary by state. Verify requirements with your state's funeral regulatory board or consumer protection office.

Disclaimer — For informational purposes only

This article is compiled from publicly available resources and is provided solely for general informational purposes. It does not constitute and should not be relied upon as legal, financial, tax, insurance, medical, psychological, or other professional advice. Passings is a planning and organizational platform, not a licensed advisory service, and no attorney-client, financial advisor-client, or other professional relationship is created by reading this content.

Laws, regulations, financial products, and professional standards vary by state and change over time. Passings makes no representations or warranties — express or implied — regarding the accuracy, completeness, timeliness, or suitability of any information contained herein. To the fullest extent permitted by applicable law, Passings disclaims all liability for any loss, damage, or harm arising from your use of or reliance on this content. Always consult a qualified, licensed professional — including an attorney, financial advisor, CPA, or licensed counselor — before making decisions specific to your situation.

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