How to Pre-Plan a Funeral: A Step-by-Step Guide for Every Family

Why pre-planning a funeral matters

Most families arrange a funeral in the days immediately following a death — while they are grieving, exhausted, and under time pressure. Funeral decisions made in that state often cost more, take longer, and reflect less of what the person who died actually wanted.

Pre-planning removes all of that. When you arrange your own funeral in advance, you make every major decision while you are calm, informed, and have time to compare options. You protect your family from having to guess your preferences. And you often save them a significant amount of money.

This guide walks through every step of pre-planning a funeral from start to finish.

Step 1: Decide between burial and cremation

The first and most foundational decision is the disposition of remains — what happens to your body after death.

Burial means interment in the ground, usually in a cemetery. It involves a graveside service, a burial container (typically a casket), a cemetery plot, and ongoing upkeep. Full burial is the most traditional option and is important for many religious and cultural communities.

Cremation means the body is reduced to ash, typically within 24 to 72 hours of death. The ashes can be kept by the family in an urn, buried in a cemetery, scattered in a meaningful location, or incorporated into memorial objects. Cremation is generally less expensive than full burial and offers more flexibility for families who are geographically spread out.

Green burial (also called natural burial) is a growing alternative. The body is buried in a biodegradable shroud or simple container without embalming, in a designated natural burial ground. This option appeals to those who prefer minimal environmental impact.

There is no right answer — the right choice is the one that aligns with your values, beliefs, and what feels meaningful to you. For a detailed breakdown of what each option costs and what the tradeoffs are, see the cremation vs. burial costs guide.

Step 2: Choose the type of service

Decide what kind of memorial or ceremony you want. Common options include:

Traditional funeral with viewing: The body is present for a visitation period before a formal funeral service, followed by burial. This format allows family and friends to gather and say goodbye over one to two days.

Memorial service: A ceremony held after cremation or burial, with no casket present. More flexible in timing and location — can be held at a place of worship, a home, an outdoor venue, or virtually.

Graveside service: A brief ceremony held at the burial site only. Simpler, more intimate, and lower cost than a full funeral.

Celebration of life: A gathering focused on remembering the person's life and personality rather than formal mourning. Less structured, often personalized with photos, music, and stories.

No service: Some people prefer that no ceremony be held. This is a valid personal choice, though family members sometimes wish for a way to mark the loss together.

Step 3: Write down your wishes

Once you have a general sense of your preferences, write them down. Even a simple handwritten document helps enormously. A pre-plan should cover:

• Burial or cremation, and what to do with remains if cremated
• Type of service (traditional, celebration of life, graveside, none)
• Location preferences — place of worship, funeral home chapel, outdoor venue
• Music you would like played
• Readings, poems, or rituals that are meaningful to you
• Who you would like to speak at the service
• Clothing preferences for burial
• Charitable donations in lieu of flowers, if preferred
• Any cultural or religious observances that should be followed

The more specific you are, the easier it is for your family to carry out your wishes.

Step 4: Choose a funeral home

You do not have to choose a funeral home years in advance, but knowing roughly which one you prefer — or the type of provider you want — is useful context for your family.

When evaluating funeral homes, consider:

Price transparency. The FTC Funeral Rule requires funeral homes to provide a General Price List (GPL) to any person who asks. Review it carefully. Prices for identical services can vary by thousands of dollars between providers in the same area.

Location and convenience. Is the funeral home easy for your family to reach? Is the cemetery they work with nearby?

Philosophy and style. Some funeral homes are traditional and formal. Others are more contemporary, offering customised ceremonies and personalised experiences. Visit in person if possible.

Reputation. Ask people you trust for recommendations. Read reviews. Look for providers who are members of the National Funeral Directors Association (NFDA) or your state funeral directors association.

For a detailed walkthrough of what to look for and what questions to ask, see the guide on how to choose a funeral home. Using a provider marketplace tool like Passings can help you compare local funeral homes, view pricing, and request quotes directly.

Step 5: Understand the costs

Funeral costs in the United States typically range from $2,000 for direct cremation to $15,000 or more for a full burial with all services. The average cost of a funeral with viewing and burial is approximately $9,000 to $12,000.

Major cost categories include:

• Funeral home services: Basic services fee, preparation (embalming or refrigeration), transportation
• Merchandise: Casket or urn, outer burial container (often required by cemeteries)
• Cemetery costs: Plot, opening and closing fees, monument or marker
• Ceremony costs: Officiant, flowers, printed materials, music, obituary placement
• Third-party costs: Death certificates, permits, newspaper notices

A funeral cost estimator can help you understand what to expect in your area before you start contacting providers.

Step 6: Decide how to pay for it

There are several approaches to funding funeral expenses in advance:

Pre-need funeral contract: An agreement purchased directly from a funeral home that locks in services at today's prices. These contracts vary widely in terms of portability, cancellation rights, and what happens if the funeral home closes. Read any contract carefully before signing.

Payable-on-death (POD) bank account: A dedicated bank account that passes directly to a named beneficiary outside of probate. Simple to set up, fully portable, and flexible — the funds can be used at any funeral home.

Final expense life insurance: A small whole life policy (typically $10,000 to $25,000) designed specifically to cover funeral and burial costs. Premiums are fixed, and the policy pays a death benefit to your named beneficiary.

Savings: Setting aside a dedicated amount in an existing savings account and documenting it in your pre-plan.

Each approach has trade-offs. Pre-need contracts offer certainty about services but can be restrictive. Financial vehicles like POD accounts and insurance offer more flexibility.

Step 7: Tell your family

A pre-plan only works if your family knows it exists and can find it. Once you have recorded your wishes, share them with at least two people — ideally the executor of your estate and one other trusted person.

Tell them:

• Where your written wishes are stored
• Whether you have a pre-need contract, and with which funeral home
• What financial provision you have made for funeral expenses
• Whether you have a will or advance directive, and where those documents are

Store a copy of your plan in a secure but accessible place — not just a safety deposit box (which may be hard to access quickly after a death). A digital document vault that allows you to share access with family members is a good option.

What not to include in your will

One important note: do not put your funeral wishes in your will. A will is typically not read until days or weeks after a death, long after funeral decisions have been made. Funeral wishes recorded only in a will are frequently never seen in time. Record them separately and make sure your family knows where to find them.

Frequently asked questions

How far in advance should I pre-plan a funeral?

Any time is the right time. Pre-planning is most valuable for adults over 50, anyone with a serious illness, and anyone with significant assets or dependants — but there is no minimum age and no reason to wait.

Is a pre-need funeral contract legally binding?

Pre-need contracts are governed by state law and vary significantly in their terms. Most contracts include a right of cancellation, but the period and refund terms differ. Some contracts are fully portable and transferable; others are not. Ask for the contract terms in writing before signing.

What happens to my pre-need contract if the funeral home closes?

In most states, funds paid into a pre-need contract must be held in trust or in an insurance policy, so they are protected if the funeral home closes. The requirements vary by state. Ask the funeral home specifically what consumer protections apply to your funds.

Do I need a lawyer to pre-plan a funeral?

No. Recording your funeral wishes, choosing a funeral home, and even signing a pre-need contract does not require a lawyer. An attorney is helpful for the broader estate plan — wills, trusts, powers of attorney — but pre-planning a funeral is something most families can do on their own. Funeral pre-planning works best alongside your other end-of-life paperwork: see the funeral planning checklist for a complete task list, and the guide on advance directives vs. living wills if you need to sort out your medical wishes at the same time.

Can my family change my pre-planned wishes after I die?

In most cases, yes — pre-planned wishes are an expression of your preferences, not a legally binding directive in the way a will is. The exception is a pre-need contract, which obligates the funeral home to provide specific services. Your family can decline those services, but refund terms will depend on the contract.

Disclaimer — For informational purposes only

This article is compiled from publicly available resources and is provided solely for general informational purposes. It does not constitute and should not be relied upon as legal, financial, tax, insurance, medical, psychological, or other professional advice. Passings is a planning and organizational platform, not a licensed advisory service, and no attorney-client, financial advisor-client, or other professional relationship is created by reading this content.

Laws, regulations, financial products, and professional standards vary by state and change over time. Passings makes no representations or warranties — express or implied — regarding the accuracy, completeness, timeliness, or suitability of any information contained herein. To the fullest extent permitted by applicable law, Passings disclaims all liability for any loss, damage, or harm arising from your use of or reliance on this content. Always consult a qualified, licensed professional — including an attorney, financial advisor, CPA, or licensed counselor — before making decisions specific to your situation.

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